


Mario Karty

by Esselle



Series: Speed Demons [8]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Car Racing, Humor, Irreverence WRT (video game) addiction, Kageyama becomes a Mario Kart addict, M/M, Mario Kart, Minor Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, This is borderline crackfic, Video & Computer Games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-17
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-04-03 17:40:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14001213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esselle/pseuds/Esselle
Summary: ' "I've never played Mario Kart," Kageyama says. The room goes dead silent. Everyone turns to stare at him, and his usual frown deepens."You'venever,"Suga says, sounding horrified, "playedMario Kart?""No," Kageyama confirms. "Should I have?"A choking sound garbles its way out of Suga's throat as he grabs onto Daichi's arm. Daichi looks stricken."We failed him," he whispers.'--Kageyama becomesslightlytoo invested in Mario Kart.





	Mario Karty

**Author's Note:**

  * For [someonestolemyshoes](https://archiveofourown.org/users/someonestolemyshoes/gifts).



> I have been hoarding this idea for over a year now, to write for my sweet friend someonestolemyshoes! At LEAST 50% of it is all her idea because we rambled out this absolute trainwreck to each other over Tumblr messenger many eons ago, and finally, I got my shit together and wrote it. 
> 
> HAPPY BIRTHDAY LAURA, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!!! I hope this makes you smile <33333

In the end, Hinata feels responsible for everything. Kageyama is… not exactly his responsibility, but Hinata is in love with him and vice versa, and so Hinata figures it's his job to somehow get them all out of this mess.

He really hadn't been counting on the situation escalating the way it has. And holy shit, things have gone from zero to one hundred _fast._

Kageyama is standing on top of the kitchen table in their apartment, flailing a Wii controller through the air like actual nunchuks. Tanaka, Noya, and Daichi have him surrounded, but he shows no intention of going down without a fight.

Tsukishima sits on the couch, flipping through a magazine like everything is normal. He looks only vaguely annoyed by the fact that Yamaguchi is hiding his face in his shoulder.

Asahi is behind the couch, ostensibly because he's terrified, but also possibly because he doesn't want to get hit in the face by a rogue Wii-mote, which really just means he's got better instincts than the rest of them.

Hinata watches it all unfold with a growing sense of doom. He's not sure how they all ended up here—really, it was a snowball that became an avalanche, and now they've lost Kageyama to the dark.

"Tobio," Suga says loudly, hands cupped around his mouth, "put the controllers _down."_

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THEM FROM ME!" Kageyama shouts. "I've worked too hard!"

"It can't be worth all this!"

"It's worth everything!" Kageyama tells him, eyes gleaming manically. "Nothing else is as important as this!"

Hinata snaps.

"Fine, then!" he yells, near hysterical. He can't live like this anymore. "We'll all go. You can have your… your _stupid_ 'Mario Karty' all by yourself!

"It's working," Suga hisses to him. Hinata isn't sure about that—Kageyama still looks fairly murderous. But he is, at the very least, looking at Hinata with an intent gleam in his eye, like perhaps he almost recognizes him in the midst of his spiral. "Hinata, keep talking."

But where to even begin?

"It never should have come to this," Hinata continues tearfully. "It was all supposed to be a game."

*

Exactly one week earlier, the crew had cleaned up handily at a big tournament race, ruling the streets, leaving all contenders and wannabes in their dust. Hinata and Kageyama had both been entered in different events, and both of them had taken first.

Hinata has yet to beat Kageyama in a one-on-one race, but he's getting faster by the day under the watchful eyes of his crew, Kageyama included. They all have things to teach him, and the gap between them is narrowing, little by little—which means that he's become a hellion out on the road, hard to catch, even harder to pass. The fact that he hasn't quite taken a win from Kageyama yet doesn't make his other victories any less sweet.

Kageyama seems to agree. The second Hinata steps out of his car after crossing the finish line, he sees Kageyama closing in on him, just a blur of tall, dark, and handsome. He grabs Hinata, holding Hinata's face in his hands so he can kiss the shit out of him. His fingerless gloves are welcome friction against Hinata's cheeks, just like his lips, possessive and insistent, and his hips when he pushes Hinata against the side of the Mazda to grind against him.

Hinata's head spins, and he rolls his hips and fists his hands in Kageyama's hair. Everyone is watching them, he knows—and that's the best part. The "power couple" vibe is strong, and Hinata likes knowing that everyone can tell Kageyama belongs to him, in the streets _and_ in the sheets.

"Gross!" Noya yells, smacking them both on the shoulder heartily. They break apart and grin at each other, not the least bit embarrassed (well, maybe a little, on Hinata's end). "Congratulations, love birds. I was gonna ask if you'd mind if we took the celebration back to your place, but…"

Judging by Kageyama's expression, and the way his hands are determinedly wandering, he is moving swiftly in the direction of a post-victory ass claiming. But Hinata likes to tease a bit more than that, when the adrenaline hits. It makes the high last longer.

"Sure!" he says, smile widening when he hears Kageyama growl. "Party back at ours!" he shouts to the crew, and Suga whoops. He's already holding aloft two open cans of beer. Asahi looks nervous; Daichi looks delighted. Which he should—they just collectively brought in a ton of cash for the shop. He's a rich man, now, and rich men get laid by their drunk-off-their-ass boyfriends very easily.

"We'll meet you there," Noya tells him, as he starts to jog back towards his own car.

"You're a piece of shit," Kageyama says, though he doesn't sound all that upset. He's too busy mouthing a messy trail below Hinata's ear. Hands so warm Hinata can feel the heat through his jeans when Kageyama squeezes his ass decisively. "Mine later."

"Later," Hinata promises. He saunters off to his car, winking at Kageyama as he gets in. He's on top of the world—everything is going his way.

At least, that's how the night starts. What follows is a different story.

"Shouyou, we're gonna use your TV!" Noya announces as he and Tanaka barrel through the door of Kageyama's and Hinata's apartment. "We brought Mario Kart!"

"Who's ready to get their ass kicked?" Tanaka crows.

"We'll see about that," Daichi mutters, far too seriously. "Put me on Yoshi and watch what happens."

"Nice!" Hinata says excitedly as everyone starts to get comfortable, snacks getting passed around, couch space being taken up. Noya and Tanaka sprawl on the floor in front of the television. "I haven't played this in ages. Kageyama, who do you wanna be?" He's already planning on how to ruin Kageyama's chances at winning by pinching his pecs when he least expects it.

"I've never played Mario Kart," Kageyama says.

The room goes dead silent. Everyone turns to stare at him, and his usual frown deepens.

"You've _never,"_ Suga says, sounding horrified, "played _Mario Kart?"_

"No," Kageyama confirms. "Should I have?"

A choking sound garbles its way out of Suga's throat as he grabs onto Daichi's arm. Daichi looks stricken.

"We failed him," he whispers.

Asahi pats him on the shoulder. "There was no way you could've known, Dai."

"Why's it such a big deal?" Kageyama asks, and the whole group winces like he's shouted.

"It's—it's the best racing game of all _time,_ Kageyama!" Hinata says. Even he is shocked. He knew Kageyama wasn't a huge gamer, but this is unthinkable.

"But it's just a game," Kageyama says. "We _actually_ race. Plus, I mean, I've seen it, it's all… all cartoony and fake! It's not real racing."

Hinata grabs his hand and pulls him over to take a seat in the middle of the couch. Yamaguchi budges over to give them room, and even Tsukishima, who had previously looked as though he wanted to be anywhere else, is squinting at Kageyama curiously.

"That's where you're wrong," Hinata says. He solemnly hands Kageyama a controller. "Mario Kart is the realest racing there _is."_

To say that the following results are mixed would be an understatement.

"Oh, COME ON!" Kageyama bursts out, gesturing wildly at the screen as he lands in eighth place yet again. He leans so far to the left as he tries to drift in the game that he nearly falls into Yamaguchi's lap. One of the computer controlled characters zooms past him to take seventh. Hinata is beginning to wonder if even the bots have begun to take pity on him. "That's not even how drifting works! They shouldn't have been able to pass me in that turn."

"I'm sorry," Asahi says soothingly, as though this is somehow his fault.

"It's fine, _it's fine—"_ Kageyama grits out. "How do I—how do I throw this fuckin' shell thing at Princess Peach—"

"The Z button," Asahi tells him helpfully.

"Where the _fuck_ is the Z button?"

"Ah…"

"Asahi, let him fend for himself," Hinata says, gleefully.

He's been battling Tsukishima for first place for the past few rounds—he is _determined_ to win the cup. Suga happily stays in sixth on purpose, so he can fuck everyone up with the really nasty items without actually having to try to play seriously, because he's too drunk to steer straight. God help them if he sobers up, though.

"Hinata, I'm gonna kill you," Kageyama tells him, right before he drives into the water and has to be reset.

"Gonna have to catch me first," Hinata says, _"bitch._ "

Kageyama throws his controller and wraps his whole arm around Hinata's throat, muscles bulging as he attempts to choke him out. Somehow, Hinata still winds up in second, but considering Tsukishima takes first, it's as good as losing.

"No throwing controllers!" Daichi says sternly, rescuing the controller from under the coffee table.

 _"You_ throw the controller," Suga reminds him.

"That's only when you blue shell me."

"Can I play again?" Kageyama asks, as Hinata smacks his arm to signal he gives up.

"You can wait your turn," Yamaguchi says, accepting the controller from Daichi. Kageyama sulks.

Hinata can't tell whether he's having fun or not—he seems to be angered by the very concept of being bested in a scenario that involves cars and racing them, realism be damned; but at the same time, the challenge looks to be lighting a fire under his ass. Restless, and devoid of anything to do but watch the others play, Kageyama gets up to grab another drink from the fridge. Hinata follows.

"Come to brag?" Kageyama asks sourly.

"Of course not," Hinata says, even though normally, yes, he absolutely would be. He just has other things on his mind. "I just came to say that… I mean, if you're starting to feel done with the game, we could probably duck out…" He leans into Kageyama, pressing up against his back and sliding his hands around to Kageyama's front. He lets his palms skate down his fitted t-shirt, and then lower, over the front of his pants. Even if Kageyama is _kind of_ pissed at him, this is a sure win.

But Kageyama shakes his head. "No, I wanna play again. I think I'm really getting it now."

Hinata stares after him, shocked, as Kageyama makes his way back to the living room. "You've been eighth place every race."

"Those were flukes," Kageyama says. "Just wait."

Over an hour later, Hinata watches him hit a banana peel and fly off Rainbow Road for what must be the eighth time in a single lap. "You have to turn, Tobio."

"Bananas?!" Kageyama roars, furious. "That wasn't there last time!"

"Why didn't you steer around it?!" Hinata asks, whacking him on the back of the head.

 _"Ow, fuck—_ BECAUSE A REAL CAR WOULD DRIVE RIGHT OVER IT!"

Hinata throws up his hands.

Daichi chuckles. "Maybe we should call it a night." The others have mostly stopped playing. Tsukishima and Yamaguchi have already headed home. Suga and Noya are both asleep on Asahi, who is holding admirably still so as not to wake either of them.

"Not yet," Kageyama says. He stares fixedly at the screen, the reflection gleaming in his eyes. "One more." Daichi and Hinata exchange a glance.

Tanaka waves his hand, yawning widely. "You can borrow it, if you want."

"Really?" Kageyama asks excitedly.

"Sure, sure," Tanaka says indulgently. "Just remember, Kageyama, it's all a game."

"A game," Kageyama says. "Right."

The others head out, sleepy and still riding the wave of their win. Hinata closes the door and stretches, making his way back to the couch. "I'm gonna get ready for bed… join me when you're done?" he asks, kissing the top of Kageyama's head.

"Yeah," Kageyama says absently. He is already selecting a new track, with his racer of choice—he appears to favor Luigi.

Hinata brushes his teeth and changes out of his jeans, stripping down to his briefs before climbing into bed. He wiggles around in anticipation—god, he loves victory nights. He can still feel Kageyama's hands on him from earlier.

But the sensation remains in his imagination. A few minutes stretches on until it has become a considerable amount of minutes, and Hinata's eyes begin to droop, and then finally, close. He falls asleep to the chirrup-y sounds of the game in the living room, the bed next to him empty.

*

It's still empty when he wakes up the next morning.

Blearily, he blinks his eyes open, as sunlight and a telltale call of _wahoooo_ assault his senses. He scoots out of the bed and pads into the living room, rubbing at his eyes, thinking Kageyama must have fallen asleep in front of the TV.

But Kageyama isn't asleep. Kageyama is leaning intently forward on the couch, controller still in his hands, and eyes still fixed on the screen and game in front of him. He mashes buttons furiously. Hinata's entrance goes unnoticed.

"Kageyama…?" he asks. "Did you… have you been playing all night?"

"No," Kageyama says indistinctly.

"Have you slept?"

"No."

Hinata puts his face in his hands. "I don't know why I didn't see this coming," he says. "You need to like, change, and eat."

"Yeah, just after this last race—" Kageyama starts to say.

Hinata unplugs the Wii.

_"Hinata!"_

"You said that all of last night!" Hinata says, as Kageyama gapes at him, looking utterly betrayed.

"I was in third place!"

"You're playing against bots," Hinata says, "on the easiest difficulty level. Come on, we need to head to the shop, it's already getting late!"

Kageyama is grumpy with him (and everybody else) the entire rest of the day. Fortunately, their paths at the shop don't cross that often unless they want them to, and Hinata is fine letting him stew.

"Hey," Tanaka says, as he hauls out another box of parts for Hinata to stock, "what crawled up Kageyama's ass and pushed the last thing that crawled up his ass even farther in before dying?"

Hinata sighs. "I shut off the Wii while he was still playing it."

Tanaka almost drops the box he's carrying. "What?! You know you never shut off a man's Wii while he's racing, no matter how bad he's kicking your ass!"

"It was _this morning,"_ Hinata says defensively. He _knows that,_ obviously. "I wasn't even playing, I just woke up and found him there."

"You found him?" Tanaka asks. "Like…"

"Like, he never stopped playing. Since you guys left."

"Oh, man." Tanaka laughs. "He's addicted already, that's gotta be a record."

Hinata grimaces. "He better get it out of his system soon."

Tanaka grins at him. "Why? He blueball you?"

"Not so _loud,"_ Hinata hisses, as Tanaka cackles. "If he doesn't wanna get laid, it's his loss." He says this with full confidence, because Kageyama always wants to get laid. Things'll be back to normal in no time.

At one AM the following morning, they're both still sitting in front of the TV, and things are not back to normal. To his credit, Kageyama has managed to move up to intermediate bots, although they still dump him off the podium more often than he places in the top three. Hinata could not give less of a shit. He wonders if that makes him a bad boyfriend. Then he remembers he's been sitting here watching Kageyama play a video game for six hours straight, and his worries dissipate.

"Third place that time!" Hinata says encouragingly. "What do you think, maybe time for bed?"

Kageyama's mouth twists into that little pouty frown that is an extreme and unfortunate weakness for Hinata, every time. "I'm not even winning yet. If I stop now, I'm not going to get better."

Hinata taps his chin. Kageyama _is_ getting better, but he is by no means getting good. Hinata needs to think of something fast.

"Sometimes the AI kinda cheats," he says. "It's a computer so its aim is always good and stuff. So I'll play for a bit so you don't have to race against as many bots."

Kageyama's expression brightens and Hinata feels a momentary spike of guilt. But Kageyama is going to pass out from sleep deprivation in the middle of the garage tomorrow if he tries to play through the entire night again. Hinata means well, when he picks up the controller. At the starting line, staring down the length of the track, he absolutely intends to let Kageyama narrowly beat him, for the confidence boost and healthy influx of endorphins. Then they can put all this behind them.

"I fucked up," he says morosely to Tanaka the next day at work, slumped over the cashier's counter.

"Uh, yeah, you did," Tanaka says. "Look, I get that you always want to beat him, but did you have to rub his nose in it when you won?"

Hinata wants to say no; he probably really did not have to yell "In your  _face!"_ when he passed Kageyama right at the finish line. But he had been too caught up in the excitement. He loves Kageyama, but he also wants to crush Kageyama into the dirt at every available opportunity. His feelings are complicated.

"So, now," he sighs, "he's even more determined to keep practicing."

They both look out the window to the dusty parking lot out back where Kageyama works on the cars, to see him yawn heavily, swiping sleepily at his eyes before going back to work under the hood of Hinata's Mazda.

"You might just have to wait this one out," Tanaka tells him. Hinata nods, resigned.

But as the days go by, it becomes increasingly obvious that doing so will be easier said than done. Kageyama's racing stats are improving, but the bags under his eyes are getting worse. Also, in addition to not sleeping, Kageyama appears to be forgetting about food entirely.

"Have you considered taking a break?" Hinata asks him, on the third night in. He has just forcibly shoved a piece of pizza into Kageyama's mouth. Kageyama eats it without using his hands and doesn't break stride.

"Breaks are for quitters," he says peevishly. Hinata doesn't have time to respond before Kageyama bolts to his feet with a triumphant shout. "YES! Suck my _nuts,_  Toad!You like the taste of that dick?!"

"I'd like a taste of that dick," Hinata says.

"I can't, Hinata, I have six more grand prixs to win," Kageyama says, flopping back down onto the couch. Hinata leans heavily back against the cushions and sighs.

He's just going to have to start being less subtle, Hinata decides, on night four. Less subtle, and a lot more naked.

"Kageyamaaa…" he croons, draping himself in the entryway of their living room.

He's wearing nothing except for one of Kageyama's black shirts, one of the ones with a deep v-neck. On Kageyama it's snug, but it hangs coyly on Hinata's smaller frame, just covering the top of his ass. Things it doesn't cover: Hinata's rosy dick, which was not very hard to get up considering how sex-starved he's been the past few days. Just putting on Kageyama's t-shirt and drowning in his smell for a bit was enough.

Kageyama is, as he has been for the past few nights, parked on the couch in front of the TV. He has a bowl of snacks sitting on the couch cushion next to him in Hinata's absence. It's not much for sustenance, but at least it's something.

"Kageyama," Hinata says again, "after you win your next race, how about I give you a reward?"

"What kind of reward?" Kageyama asks, without taking his eyes off the screen.

"Why don't you look and see?" Hinata says. Honestly, it can't be that hard to tell even without visual cues. He's purring like a kitten. A sexy kitten. Sex kitten? Hinata frowns. He's not sure what the actual phrase is, but kittens are really not very sexy. Whatever.

"I can't look now," Kageyama says, sounding vaguely exasperated.

Hinata rolls his eyes and tries not to sound annoyed when he replies. His cock is _throbbing,_ come _on._ "Okay, then maybe you can guess…"

Kageyama grunts in what might be agreement, so Hinata slinks over to the couch ( _why,_ Kageyama isn't even watching, ugh) and stands right next to him. He juts his hips forward and pokes Kageyama in the side of the face with his dick.

"Can you guess?" Hinata asks him.

"What the hell is—is that a cucumber?" Kageyama asks.

"Why would—no," Hinata says. "Guess again." Kageyama tilts to the left as his kart goes around a turn. Hinata is forced to thrust forward even further, pushing the tip of his cock against Kageyama's lips.

"Hairless cat."

Hinata squints at him. "You're messing with me, right?"

"Are you messing with _me?"_ Kageyama fires back. "This is an important race!" On-screen, Luigi-yama gets struck by a bolt of lightning and falls off the track. Kageyama growls. Irritated, he tosses the Wii nunchuck controller down for a moment to shove a handful of cheese puffs into his mouth.

Then, with his cheese-dust powdered fingers, he reaches out and closes his hand around Hinata's penis, and _yanks._

The hairless cat guess might not be so offbase anymore, with the way Hinata yowls. Kageyama jumps about a foot straight up in the air, whirling around to see what happened. His eyes are finally on Hinata, but this isn't at all how Hinata had hoped to grab his attention.

"What are you doing?!" Kageyama yelps, his voice oddly high-pitched. Hinata's is even higher, for obvious reasons.

"I'm trying to get you to blow me!" Hinata says shrilly. He hunches over protectively, nose scrunched up, fighting nausea. "Why did you _pull it?"_

"I thought you were handing me the controller!" Kageyama tells him, slightly panicked. "Are you—are you okay? Do you need—"

"I'm fine," Hinata croaks. "I'm going to… I'm gonna go lie down."

"I really didn't mean to do that!" Kageyama calls after him as he wobbles his way to the bed.

But that is somewhat the problem, Hinata thinks, as he collapses into the sheets and curls up on his side. Kageyama hadn't even looked at him until that moment—sexy or not, he hadn't been planning on getting his hands on Hinata's dick at all. Or hanging out with Hinata. Or talking to Hinata. Hinata knows Kageyama has a tendency to hyperfocus (they have this in common), but when will Mario Kart wear out its welcome?

On night five, Hinata stares blankly at the ceiling, listening to the unhinged laughter drifting into the bedroom from the living room.

"Blue shell?" Kageyama unleashes a particularly wild cackle. "You wanna blue shell me, huh, yeah, _huh?_ That the best you got? You stupid, piece of shit game—" There's lots of furious button clicking. "You know what, that's fine! It's not even a big deal—" He sounds like he's grating his teeth together. "I actually _like_ losing! You're just sharpening my skills! IT'S A CHALLENGE!"

There's a loud crashing noise that Hinata hopes isn't one of the controllers, or their TV. _Help me,_ he mouths at the ceiling. But help doesn't appear to be on the way.

In the morning, he creeps out of the room to see Kageyama staring glassily at the TV. Hinata isn't sure when he actually sleeps, but he must be at his limit now—he's completely silent. Strangely, Hinata realizes, so is the television. He edges closer and realizes why.

The screen is dark. On closer inspection, Hinata realizes that Kageyama must have pulled the plug out at some point, because the game isn't even on.

Kageyama still holds the controllers in his hands. He continues to press buttons on them at random—or perhaps, it isn't random to him.

"Um…" Hinata says quietly, "Tobio, are you okay…?"

"Shhhhhh…" Kageyama says. The sound goes on for entirely too long. "I'm winning."

Hinata stares at him. "What… are you winning?"

"The race," Kageyama says. "I'm in first."

"You're…" Hinata looks at the dark screen, then back at Kageyama, wondering, for a second, if he's the one hallucinating. He's not. "The TV isn't—"

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Kageyama says.

Hinata begins to back away. "Right… right, okay. I'm going to… I'm going to head over to Daichi and Suga's for a bit, okay?"

"Hinata!" Kageyama says suddenly, and a bit terrifyingly. Hinata squeaks.

"Y-yeah?!"

"Tell them. Tell themmmm… tomorrow." Kageyama lapses into silence again.

"Tomorrow?" Hinata asks, when it becomes clear he's not going to say anything else.

"Tomorrow," Kageyama repeats. "Here. I need to show them how my power has grown."

"O-okay…" Hinata says.

"Tell them they're all invited to my Mario Kart party," Kageyama says. "My _Mario Karty."_

He starts to smile, and Hinata shudders, and flees.

*

"We never should have shown him that stupid game!" Hinata sobs, cheek smashed to the dining room table in his employer's apartment. Across from him, Daichi listens gravely, as Suga pats him on the back.

"It sounds like we need to get involved," Daichi says. "I'll call the rest of the crew."

"Really?" Hinata asks tearfully. "You'll help me?"

"Of course," Daichi says. "What are friends for?"

"Tanaka keeps asking for help getting his Wii back because he doesn't want to seem like the 'not-chill friend'," Suga tells Hinata.

 _"Suga,_ that was supposed to be a secret."

*

When the gang arrives back at Hinata's apartment that evening, they enter to find it dark. The only source of light comes from the television—now plugged back in, with the Mario Kart homescreen glowing ominously at them. Kageyama is nowhere in sight.

"Oh, no," Hinata whispers, after they've checked all the rooms. "Where could he have gone? I mean, what could he possibly need to—"

There's a jingling of keys from outside, then the door opens, and Kageyama steps inside. He's holding an ungodly amount of store bought snacks in his arms. He blinks at them all.

"You're here already?" he asks.

"GRAB HIM!" Suga yells.

An immense struggle follows as Tanaka and Noya manhandle Kageyama into a chair in the center of the room. Suga bustles about, setting up an easel and flipboard.

"What's going on?!" Kageyama demands.

"Why don't you tell us, Kageyama," Noya says menacingly. "What are all the snacks for?"

"They're—for the Mario Karty!" Kageyama says. "Hinata texted me to say you guys were coming so I went out and got some."

"You actually… stopped playing?" Hinata asks. He squints at Kageyama. Now that he thinks about it, Kageyama does look decidedly less like a zombie than he has for the past few days.

"Yeah, I think I fell asleep right after you left?" Kageyama says, scratching his head in confusion. "I don't know, I woke up on the floor. I think I needed a nap."

"What could possibly give you that impression?" Hinata asks dryly.

"Enough small talk!" Tanaka says loudly. "WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE TWENTY-FIRST?"

Kageyama jumps in his seat. _"What?"_

"Jesus _christ,"_ says Daichi, as he walks in the front door, the last one to enter after hunting for parking. "I said intervention, not _interrogation,_ I leave you alone for four minutes—"

"Oh, oops," Tanaka says, "our bad."

"Get—go sit down," Daichi says, shooing him and Noya out of the way.

"Daichi, what's this about?" Kageyama asks. "I thought we were having a Karty."

"Right, about that," Daichi says. He turns to the first page in his flipboard. On it, in bold letters, is written: **First Goal of the Intervention: Stop Kageyama from saying 'Karty'.**

"Wait, what?" Hinata says. "Why is that the first goal?"

"Because Karty is a terrible word," Suga says.

"That… is not what I wrote down…" Daichi says, confused.

"Karty is the best portmanteau!" Kageyama protests.

"Holy shit," Tsukishima says, "he knows that word?" Hinata isn't even sure why Tsukishima is _there,_ or how anyone convinced him to come.

"I Googled word that is a combination of two other words and sounds super cool when put together, and that was the top result," Kageyama explains.

Suga considers this. "Fair point."

"Okay, seriously," Daichi says, turning the page again, "goal number one: start having sex with Hinata again—alright, _who_ replaced my entire flowsheet? Who did this?"

"Absolutely not me," Hinata says, hiding the marker he'd stolen and used to edit Daichi's flowsheet while they were driving over. "But that is an _excellent_ goal, Daichi, we could start with—"

"No, okay—" Daichi says, waving his hands. He points at Kageyama sternly. "You. You're out of control."

"I'm not—"

"You're not sleeping, you're not eating, your productivity is down at work," Daichi says, ticking things off on his fingers. "And, sexual activity aside, you _are_ heavily ignoring your boyfriend in favor of playing a children's racing game."

"It's all ages!" Kageyama says.

"Not my point!" Daichi says. "Effective immediately, I'm returning the game into Tanaka's possession—"

"But—"

"And tonight, we're all just going to—watch a movie, or something!" Daichi decrees.

_"You can't—"_

"Oh, but I can," Daichi says. "Tanaka? Disconnect him."

Hinata almost— _almost—f_ eels bad, watching the anguished look on Kageyama's face as Tanaka and Noya undo the wiring from the back of the TV. But when it comes time to reclaim Tanaka's controllers, something in Kageyama seems to snap.

"NO!" he yells, bursting out of the chair. His athleticism serves him well—he dives, and seizes the controllers from Tanaka, snatching them right out of his hands.

"Kageyama, come on!" Tanaka shouts in frustration. "I said you could borrow it, not keep it!"

"I'm not going to keep it forever!" Kageyama says. He begins to back away from the others closing in on him, eyes darting this way and that. "I just need a little more time—"

"For _what?"_ Hinata asks.

"T-to win—" Tanaka makes a swipe for the controllers, and Kageyama jumps backwards. His back hits the kitchen table, and he clambers to stand on top of it. "Stay back!" he yells, panic on his face, swinging the controllers in an attempt to ward off the attack.

"Tobio, put the controllers _down,"_ Suga tries to say.

Kageyama refuses. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE THEM FROM ME! I've worked too hard!"

And so, they've wound up here.

"It can't be worth all this!"

"It's worth everything!" Kageyama says, and Hinata's temper flares. "Nothing else is as important as this!"

"Fine, then! We'll all go." Hinata isn't going to deal with another night of listening to karts driving through item boxes and invincibility super star music. It hurts too much, reminds him of what he's lost. "You can have your… your _stupid_ 'Mario Karty' all by yourself!"

"It's working, Hinata keep talking."

Hinata's eyes well up with tears. It's really pretty simple. He just wants the old Kageyama back. "It never should have come to this. It was all supposed to be a game." Kageyama is looking right into his eyes now, his mouth slack, and Hinata decides to bare his soul. "I _miss_ you, Tobio."

Kageyama (finally) cracks. "I miss you, too," he says, arms lowering helplessly. "But until I can beat that game, I can't—can't—"

"Can't what, Tobio?" Hinata asks, trying to understand.

"I can't fuck you!" Kageyama cries desperately.

Everyone stands there, stunned; except for Tsukishima, who puts down the magazine he's reading and says, _"There_ it is. I knew it was going to be something stupid—okay, we can leave now, Yamaguchi."

"Wh-why?" Hinata asks.

"Because I'm a _loser,"_ Kageyama says, "and there's no way I'm letting my boyfriend fuck a loser."

Hinata puts his hands over his mouth. "All this was for me?"

Kageyama nods. He turns sheepishly to Tanaka. "I think… you can have your game back. Sorry." He steps down from the table and hands a wary Tanaka the peace offering of his controllers.

Tanaka nods firmly. "No hard feelings! Work things out between the two of you, alright?"

Hinata throws himself into Kageyama's arms. "You're _not_ a loser," he says. "I'd never think that about you! You're even getting really good at Mario Kart!"

"I'm not," Kageyama says, grimacing. He hugs Hinata back, though, and Hinata snuggles up against his chest happily.

"So?" Hinata grins. "That just means I get to be better than you at something." He laughs as Kageyama ruffles his hair mercilessly.

"Is…" Asahi pops his head up from behind the couch. "Is it over? Is everything okay now?"

"Yeah," Hinata says. "Thanks for all the help, guys."

"We could still do a movie," Kageyama says. He seems to want to make up for worrying them all. "I did get a shitton of snacks."

"Or… we could have that Mario Karty." He glances at Kageyama. "If you're okay with that."

Kageyama's eyes light up. "I _will_ beat you this time," he vows. Hinata stands on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.

"We'll see about that," he says.

*

 _"Oh_ —To-Tobio, _f-fuck—"_

It's way later in the evening, after everyone else has gone home, and they're alone, and Kageyama has finally overcome his stupid Mario Kart complex.

Well, mostly.

Kageyama pulls off Hinata's cock with a wet pop. "Uh-huh," he says, mouthing up and down Hinata's shaft, "say it again. Who's the best?"

"Y-you're the b-be— _ah—_ " Hinata says, heaves in a breath, and whines.

"Who's the _champion?"_ Kageyama needles, and oh, fine, this is what Hinata gets for saying Kageyama would never beat him, right before Kageyama _did_.

 _"You_ are—Tobio- _oh_ , ohhh my god—" His eyes roll back in his head and he arches his back as Kageyama swallows him again.

"Suck dick like a champ, too," Kageyama mumbles.

Hinata is not going to argue, because it's true. "Oh fuck—oh, yeah, suck me harder, please, _please—"_

"Thaaat's right," Kageyama murmurs, "beg for me."

"I _am!"_ Hinata says. "I have been for a _week!"_

"True," Kageyama agrees. "And I've been holding back on fucking you for a week—"

He sits back, and rolls Hinata roughly over onto his hands and knees before Hinata realizes what's happening.

"Whose fault is that?" Hinata asks crossly, even as he drops onto his forearms, ass held up in the air, already wet and open from Kageyama fingering him earlier to prepare him. To his credit, he's no longer interested in making Hinata wait.

"Mine," Kageyama says. "I'm gonna make up for it, though."

Hinata isn't sure if that would be especially difficult, or especially easy, to do tonight. After all, he has suffered a _lot_ the past few days. But he's also excessively horny, and the feeling of Kageyama's cock filling him as he takes him from behind, hot and hard and thick, is all he ever could have wanted.

Either way, Kageyama doesn't let him down.

His calloused palms are rougher than ever as he yanks Hinata back, snapping his hips into him and grinding his cock in deep. The nap and the winning must have really done wonders, because Kageyama fucks him raw, until Hinata's ass and thighs ache and he shakes in the sheets and has to shove his face into the pillow to muffle his moaning.

 _"Shouyou,"_ Kageyama growls in his ear, a low, heated groan, "since you couldn't beat me, I'll at least let you come first, huh?"

"Youuu—" Hinata gasps as Kageyama wraps a hand around his cock to jerk him off, still pounding into him. _Not fair,_ he's already at his limit. "Ass—h-hole— _hnnhh!_ " He doesn't stand a chance. He shakes uncontrollably as he comes, all the past week's pent up emotion and sexual frustration spooling out of him into the sheets below. "Tobio, Tobi—"

"Fuck," Kageyama says, and Hinata remembers he hasn't come in a week, either, "you're squeezing me so fucking tight—"

He moans, dropping forward until he's pressed up against Hinata's back, and then his hips are rolling as he fills Hinata up, hot and wet and deeply satisfying. When he's finished, he doesn't move. He just lies there on top of Hinata, warm and solid.

"Guh," Hinata says, after a moment.

"What," Kageyama says.

"Took you long enough."

Kageyama goes dead weight on top of him, crushing him. Hinata gurgles, concerned he's passed out, until he realizes Kageyama is shaking with laughter.

"Why do I put up with you?" Hinata asks, smacking him in the side.

"Okay, in my defense," Kageyama says, "you kept egging me on!"

"Well, yeah, you _sucked,"_ Hinata reminds him, unapologetic.

"Little shit."

"Speaking of," Hinata says, trying to roll out from under him, "I gotta go wash up or tomorrow morning's gonna suck."

"Sleepy," Kageyama says, "can't move."

"Too bad."

Hinata keeps poking him in the sides until he finally heaves himself off, and then he grumbles all the way to the shower, where they both stand under the hot spray and try not to doze standing up.

Hinata is fairly sure Kageyama is humming Queen's "We Are the Champions" under his breath to keep himself awake. He _could_ call Kageyama out for being insufferable, but he decides to let him have this one. He rests his head against Kageyama's chest, closes his eyes, and enjoys the warm water.

They've both earned their win.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you RC and Ellie for beta-ing this and reassuring me that it was just... weird... enough :D
> 
> And thank you for always inspiring and supporting me, Laura (and not least, for that "suck dick like a champ" line)!!! Everyone should go read her [KageHina fics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/someonestolemyshoes/pseuds/someonestolemyshoes/works?fandom_id=758208) if you somehow haven't already. Without them, I might not even have started writing KageHina myself... :o
> 
> [I'm [@esselley](http://esselley.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr, [@Esselle_hq](https://twitter.com/Esselle_hq) on Twitter]


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